SpawnPoint

And lastly, I added this one for Alpha. She seemed to like the ones that were a bit more, menacing. So here ya go :D

A momentary still allowed a survey of the situation.
A beast, features just shadow on blackness. A leadened
breath that burned the air seeped from a gaping mouth.
Dark fog billowed off it's shoulders and back to the
floor. Rolling out and creating an eerie ambiance. It
stood panting, waiting. And a man. His clothes simple,
but not dated. There was a heavy chain attached to a
spiked metal ball leading back to his hands. Both
dripping in a dark viscus fluid.The monster
bellowed and ran heavily foward. Each step rang through
the ground as he came. It's hands protruding with an
evil intent. The man spun and brought forth his weapon
to bear. It plummeted from the sky upon the blackened
brow. A crimson thud was only an illusion. The creature
wrenched it's arm free and pushed itself to stand. But
that glittering ball arced down annihilating the beast's
left hand. It howled in pain and charged from it's
hunched position. There was no defense from this. A
heavy hand, with a cold grip, clasped the man's arm.
Striking back, and with a tiny hope, the man pulled a
dagger from his breast pocket. With his left arm
enclosed in a living vice, he flung the knife for
his attackers eyes. It spun wildly and caught the foe
vertically, from noes to jaw. Roaring and falling back
the blade was pulled and flung aside. This was going
to be it. A monster's pain against a man's
determination. A blood filled bellow signals the start
of it all. Each pounding step closer. A single heartbeat
at a time. some great silence between echoes. When
almost out of the heavens themselves, that glistening
red orb falls upon the demon's skull. Forcing the beast
down into now unstable ground. He smiles as he wraps his
chain and lifts the spiked ball from it's Cranial house.
Stepping over the body, he grins to himself, knowing
only that pride will be back someday.

This one is just as it goes. Sometimes in life you realize things without ever knowing you've realized them. And just wake up all of the sudden. Well that's what this was was for.

He started climbing that ladder.
That ladder to the sky.
Picked a cloud and told himself
this one looks good.
Got up and set out his lunch.
The food was what he needed.

Everyday we do these things
Live in our routines.
We've chosen a life.
But where's the escape.

He stared out far into the sky.
That sky that never ends.
He stood and told himself
just one more step.
Put himself of that edge.
The fall was what he needed.

Everyday we do these things.
Live in our routines.
We're lost in a life.
And there's no escape.

He gained speed as he did fall.
that fall to the end.
This isn't what I wanted he
told himself on down.
But there's no stopping.
The shock was what he needed.

Everyday we did those things.
Lived in our routines.
We were gone in a life.
But we've escaped.

He woke with his covers in his hand.
That hand that never let go.
There is no reason I'd just
give up he thought.
So there he sat awake.
The morning was what he needed.

Everyday we live these things.
We choose our routines.
In control of life.
we dont need escape.

Something interesting I wrote. Lol, and don't even ask, just what comes to mind sometimes. Enjoy... or something?

"There are night caps and then there are night caps." I said as I waved a stubby old finger at my grandson. This warm bottle in my hands giving me the affirmation I was making a joke he didn't yet understand. A fuzzy robe and a cozy fire. Those were my ladies of the night now. It'd been about fifteen years since she had left me... And now I'm visited by children from a generation of our own. Something we started and weren't able to finish together... But why do the thoughts of such an old man often toddle through my mind on days so beautiful? As if someone else had sat down in some chair in my mind to tell me their life's story.

I just put down my grandfathers glasses and tucked that old ratty robe he was wearing around him a bit tighter. He did have quite the grip on the bottle though. To think he'd not done anything different in the last fifteen years wasn't unimaginable though. Oh how he'd loved her. We all knew it would have some effect but to the extent none of us could imagine. There he waited each night. Waiting for the night he'd not wake up alone in this house. And for some reason, I can't seem to get the backs of his eyes out of my mind...

I wrote something this evening. It was actually keeping me up not putting this down in print... but it's just something that could mean anything to whomever reads it. I would actually like some feedback, what do things mean to you folks as you go through this? Well here it is, and dont be afraid, they're just words, say SOMETHING after you read it, please, lol.

I woke up this morning to a dimly lit room.

Put on the shower and let shirt sleeves of water dress me.

Chose my finest linens for the day.

And set out on my way.

 

It wasn't warm but warm enough.

The sun had almost set as I walked from my door.

Perhaps it was frightened of what it would see.

This day would hold it's share of brutality.

 

Oh and how cool the wind felt.

Touching me through my shirt as i went.

I'd reach the source before long.

To find the creature that foul wind belonged.

 

Tall it stood, shaded in yellow black as soot.

Infernal eyes stood out from a shrouded face.

And the dangling shackles hung from long chains.

For this thing had broken from it's reigns.

 

The air may have been cold to the lungs.

But the gravel felt quite hot under bear feet.

And how my eyes burned with the sulfur in the air.

No site nor shock could quite compare.

 

Grabbing the rings I pulled it's immense face close to mine.

Whispered vile threats in veiled ears.

It pulled so hard to metal clenched in hands hurt.

And I thrust down hard forcing it's face into the dirt.

 

I'd warned it once without any reserve.

But calling such a reaction from me deserved it's own report.

Clinging to the silver with all my strength.

Slowly backing up to bring the chains to length.

 

The ground around shaking and throwing up dust.

Viral eyes now set upon a dirty beast.

It's once proud and sinister look coward before me.

I told it I'd not be tempted again for eternity.

 

The chains alight like brilliant scarlet.

Curls of dirt casting shadows across my face.

Pulling with all my strength he was beckoned forward.

Against his will the cry of a coward!

 

The sun must've stirred from it's hiding place.

For the light slowly returned to the odious scene.

And there a demon I should have slain long ago lay.

The only thing I felt was the long delay.

 

And a fresh wind rustled my trousers to catch my attention.

A woman holding the tropics in her hand was there.

Her dress nothing but the love for me.

And my thoughts only told me of what could be...

Dang it's been some time since I'd put up anything from my life and was recently reminded I haven't blogging like I was supposed to be... Weeeeeellllll whatev. Have a brief glimpse.

Lately things have been fantastic, Things have been going well with me and my xxxxy latin querida. Works sweet. No complaints.... Guess this is harder to write than I'd expected... Um... School's alright?

Guess I've still got the ability to rant... Well something has been ticking me off, so here goes...

I happen to be a very old fashioned person. I feel I'm a dying race for I see not my compatriots often. One of those random people who just happen to hold women to the highest regard and that I'm willing to wait to have sex till I find that perfect woman. I'd rather not spend my time learning someone else, just the one. Call me a dreamer, a romantic, a fool, whatev I'm that way with our without other's thoughts. I'm myself despite the world.

I dont understand how people can marry and not appreciate each other. There were things that drove them to that point to where they wanted to share a life forever but can't even seem to get along? What's the deal with people and their small thoughts, selfish thoughts. A woman is the most precious thing a man can ever hope to achieve and I would dream that someday everyone realizes this. Women are not things, nor are they something to be commanded. Respect and love any woman you're lucky enough to get to look your way, or you'll soon lose her.

I also don't like it when women settle... Just decide that they cant hold someone to a higher standard. Demand some respect and actually be treated well. Men need to step up and take care of their business.

People also believe that you need to "test drive" a car before you can commit to owning it. The test drive with people is being able to accept them without the need for the physical attraction that comes naturally. And yeah, I've been told I'm too black and white. But I abolished all gray areas a long time ago. I decided there would be no second guessing myself on the issue.

Closed minded, rash, full of yourself, elitist, and coward are but a few of the things I've listened to during my time on this little road. But I look at these people telling me these things, and they're not happy. Not saying that applies to everyone who feels the way they do, but they themselves are not happy people, I'll not tell some of their stories here. However life's easier when you know who you are growing into.

How could you betray the trust of someone letting you share a piece of themselves with you, but not really care to follow through with their heart? I'll never understand people who can just run around looking for sex. I really do wonder if they feel like somethings missing. It's not good for man to be alone.

But hey, I'm just some guy, with some opinions and some words to share.

Dont take anyone lightly, miss everyone with what they gave you, and love everyone with all you've given them.

Cranix out - night folks

Well I have not blogged in some time now. So I figured I should to keep up image I dont really care about... And since I'm too lazy to actually blog, I'll just post something I wrote, because people read it, but dont have anything to say I guess. Non one ever says a darn thin :\ LAME! Whatev, I know some of you appreciate it. So here goes.

The dash is lit with open gauges.
This story written across these pages.
These bare hands warm cold tools.
Panels turn on as liquid cools.
The process begins and seats are taken.
They all wait for the mind to awaken.
The crank turns over moving the pumps.
Valves release giving dull thumps.
It's gears turn and pistons fire.
It ceases not and does not tire.
Pressure changes and liquid abides.
Fluid moves from where it resides.
Screens now alive and at full pace.
Optics roll forward fall into place.
Pounding increases with further turmoil.
The body trembles with resounding recoil.
The stability is tested of each part.
As the mind commands the mighty heart.
Though one in control inside this hour.
The other grows tremendous in power.
A struggle between heart and mind.
Leaves conscious thought and reason behind.
Masters of what they'd each controlled.
Must watch in horror and only behold.
Simple interactions.
Giving mental contractions.
Thought or emotion.
A torrid ocean.
Controls finally manned.
Hearts given a hand.
Focus regained.
Peace maintained.
Nothing to mend.
Though it's never the end...



Leave a comment if you'd like :D

It's been a rough last few months of gaming for myself. Last spring I left my Iowa State University campus and returned home in debt and heavy heart in hand. Despite the reasons for staying, my pocket isn't the only thing that has been suffering since returning home. My supposed t3 connection at State has been stripped and I am back to my parents DSL. Dont get me wrong, the play at home isn't so bad, until things get thick.

I didn't notice a big difference at first between gaming at home and gaming on campus for a bit. It wasn't until I'd looked at my recent stats. I was having trouble holding a 1:1 ratio in a server that I'd called home for about a year and half that I decided to turn my net_graph back on and see what was up. My older settings were not compatible with my home and had a constant choke of about 35... My frames rested steady at 19-..... I was so heart broken.

Was this the end of my gaming as I knew it? I'd been gaming at home years before I went to school and it had been fine then, what was different now? Was my 1.3 gh AMD tm finally at the end of it's rope? Though it seemed hard to move on and grasp the fact that my poor comp couldn't handle css anymore, I would push on.

I tried everything, changing settings to low, "optimum", and I even tried those commands the eliminate things like shadows and muzzle flash but nothing would help me... So I just continued to play on these terrible frames and a sketchy connection. But I wasn't ready to roll over and die just yet.

There were things I was slightly known for when playing css. And that was being stupid and being good at it. Figuring out new ways to play was my idea and I'd intended to put it into action immediately. The maps I was stuck with were the dust maps locked on the Evolutiongaming.nl network. And each weapon was soon to be redefined there.

I picked up my favorite, the galil. When treated Properly this gun is both the perfect long and short range set. It's first two are accurate at a strafe and it's spray is more than controllable. The p288 is always the perfect side arm. And the m3 shall remain as the steady backup with it's super damage at short range and excellent suppressive fire at distance. The only problem I had to deal with was I registered only about a shot a second. If I were to miss in a close range battle I'd lose, but the long range was still ok. And I'd spent about four hours one night figuring most of this out...

Now it was time to change up my style. I'd been primarily a rusher. CT side T side didnt matter to me. But it was my movement that had to change. I could no longer stop and fire because the shots just didnt make it into the server. I had to kill in the first few shots or I was doomed right there. And sticking to walls to make it to corners just doesn't work anymore, that's the first place you watch when you camp and awp the most. That left me with misdirection and a disregard for a little hurt. Always carry a nade was my motto now.

Jumping corners was also out. I found crouching into a corner then just running out randomly really works best. And that spare nade? I've never used it much at people unless I know it will either move them or seriously hurt them. I use it around corners back and away from me. People immediately and compulsively look at the freshly cleared nade area for the person who will be rushing through it. Now it's just a matter of finding them.

After about three months of changing up my game play a friend of mine (MURRAY, look him up ;D) told me to try a cevo fps config, legit for tourney's and everything. The moment after signing in with that installed I noticed my choke was zero... For the first time in months.... I'd messed with my rates for two weeks straight and now it's fixed like that. My frames were also up to about 35+ and I was about ready to crap my pants. And just to test to see how I was doing I went and practiced with a few of my old team friends ( h2flow, anyone remember them?) now in TEAMUNKIND at (http://www.unkindgaming.com/) and completely blew my mind...

Gaming has been saved for Cranix! Someday I will probably upgrade from my socket A system to something better and get even better. But being called a hacker at least once a day is finally starting to sound more like the gamer I used to be, it's nice.

Well this is a huge blog but I hope you all enjoyed a little glimpse into my gaming life XD have a good night and keep on truckin, even when it gets hard.

Cranix out

I thought I should put one in that was more poetic as well, so here's something else to look at and wonder about, haha. Hopefully you guys still keep talking to me :D and leave me some comments, so I know what people think and that they didnt just oops read this. ok? ok....

"Diggin' for Wholes"
by AJ Hanscom

I started a hole.
A hole in an iron gate.
The guards poored out.
They cracked the walls and more spilled.
Each ran across her face.
Water on a leaf.
Same as the sparkles on her face.
I started a hole.
A pin prick through a sheet.
Light glinted through.
It splashed the wall and filled the room.
The color flooded my eyes.
A torrent too bright.
At least I could see where to go.
I started a whole.
Built from the bottom up.
The shape changes consistently.
And I'm adding one piece to it everyday.
None look alike.
But I'm satisfied.
I started to smile.

Well I figured since I've got nothing better to post and dont really care to update people that I try to kill in game on my life, unless asked, I would post some other stuff. And this is all I've got, random stuff I scribble down when I'm tired, it works for me. So we shall see how this goes over... Probably like a lead balloon...

"A Man"

A man can only protect that which
he is compelled to protect.
If he lacks moral backing or the
courage to defend everything
he cares for, he does not have
the right to call himself a man.
It could be described as when
all that is withing the scope of
his reality is challenged by
an opposing force. For everything
should be built and reinforced
off of ones beliefs. If you dont
firmly stand by all the pieces
of your life, cast them out,
and start over. Your life is yours.
A man must both build a life set
in his values, and be willing to
defend every single one of them
without regret. Any regret in
someones life only leads to
self destruction. Be reaffirmed
in all of your actions and
remember to stand by your
decisions. It's the choices you
make in life, that make you.
Holding the rudder in any current
only means that the direction
faced is controlled, but not
traveled. It's the path traveled
that cannot be regretted, and
always defended.

So I do some writing. Some random silly writing, just curious if anyone would be interested in hearing any of it. If you are you're going to at least leave a comment saying so.

So recently on my fave server of time, Evolution.nl (69.90.174.9:27015) , a few idiots decided they were going to play a little trick on an admin, and then laugh about it while they tear apart my server.

First both of them changed their names to mine. Turned on some crazy spinhax with aimbots and proceeded to go to town on the people I was desperately trying to protect. What a longer story short is they tried bragging then, telling me and everyone in the server they coulndn't be caught, their hax have "TOO MANY OPTIONS :P" So I followed through with my demos and made sure to highlight their IP's, banned them from the server, and we all enjoyed our evening talking trash about two idiots who are now successfully banned from Spawnpoint, we win again :D!!!!

Man, I love the anti-cheat team here, Next time you guys are ever in Iowa, I'M BUYIN!!!

Cran Man out -------------)>

    Upon a recent receiving of email, and not noticing all of my Spawnpoint emails go directly to my bulk folder :/, I realized I must blog... Blogging is something I would have preferred to be able to avoid my entire life. However, I love spawnpoint. And to continue as an admin, I must blog. Sad days...

    Since this is my first post it's going to stay general and not go too in depth. I've been playing on the spawnpoint servers since I first got counterstrike ages ago and never seemed to leave them. The users seem more friendly and the servers are typically of a higher quality. I admin the Evolution.nl dwp off server and get called the biggest pub nub by my friends. Every time I log in the server has six or more people who welcome me. That's just one great thing about gaming here. I dont even game that often, just when I get off work or dont have much to do during the day.

    The higher ups here are fantastic as well. They've all got lives outside of this little game and yet they take the time to work hard to make it a quality experience for everyone by staying up late, reviewing demos, and hopping into servers to help with hackers and I've not heard them complain, much... Haha. I dont know many of the bigger admins personally, but I gotta give props to OPREP, Raven, and especially Sapphire ;D. Sapphire was the one who got me to become an admin and OPREP was the man who made that happen. Raven was frequently in the vent and would help me with stuff I didnt know how to do yet as a new admin.

    This first post is a thank you to spawnpoint, for being a great community and I hope to stay with you guys for a long time.

Cranix (MUFFINZ - ty sapphi)